So... it's been a crazy month in the Russian household.  Click here for more information.

Ampbreia commented on an old post of mine (hell, they are all old these days) wanting to know how I met and fell in love with my husband.  I thought of replying, but a blog post seemed like a better idea.  That's what we're supposed to be doing here, right?

Date: July 14, 2004.

I was at work and bored.  Summer was ultra-slow there, and so I spent most of my time surfing the web and writing while I waited for the phone to ring.  I had ICQ as a chat client and they used to have this website where you could post a temporary personal ad of sorts.  You'd say who you were and who you wanted to chat with and then set a time for the post to be up - anywhere from 5 minutes to two hours. (That feature no longer

I had done it in the past and usually got a ton of responses, but not anything or anyone that made me want to keep in contact.  On this particular day I talked myself into and out of posting for quite a while.  All I seemed to get were messages from guys from Turkey who wanted a green card marriage - in the first 10 minutes of the conversation!

I decided to put a short message up for about 30 minutes.  It was nearing the end of the work day and I figured it couldn't hurt.  I got several messages from Turkey and Egypt, and then one from a guy named "Roger."  His first words to me were "What would you like to talk about, C W?" (I was using "cliopatra" as my handle, but my profile listed my name as C W).  My response was: "I don't know.  Intrigue me."

By the end of the conversation he had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.  I consented to add him to my contact list, and if I'm honest, I was really looking forward to chatting with him again the next day.

I should point out that I was about 1 year removed from an 8-year on-again off-again relationship that had crashed and burned in spectacular fashion.  I was dating, but only in the most casual sense.  No kissing, no hand holding, no second dates.  I was considering acquiring 10 or 20 cats.  I was at peace with the idea of being single for the rest of my life.  I wasn't bitter, but I was broken.

He continued to show up on my friends list every work day and we laughed and talked and became friends.  I could tell he was feeling romantically inclined towards me but I pushed him away.  I told him I didn't want a relationship and if he wanted something more he was going to have to look for it elsewhere.  He told me he understood, but then day after day he would sign on and make me smile all day.

In May of 2005 I was taking a business trip to Tampa.  He was in SWFL, and I reluctantly (and a bit excitedly) told him I'd be in his neck of the woods.  He agreed to pick me up at the airport, and we would hang out and see what was what.  I was dreading it and looking forward to it, because we were either going to move forward with an actual relationship or end it.  I wasn't sure which I wanted more.  I had some pretty cute cats lined up for my big scary house on the hill.

Needless to say, it went really well.  He went home for work the day after we met to go back to work, then came up at the tail end of my trip to stay with me again.  We explored Tampa and one morning drove to Sarasota to have breakfast with my brother and his girlfriend.  We laughed.  He bought me chocolates.  We rode the trolley.  We fell in love.

(At this point he will probably tell you that HE was already in love.  I was the one holding back.)

We started flying back and forth between Oklahoma and Florida every couple of months.  In November 2005 he attended my nephew's christening with me and met most of my family at Thanksgiving.  At that point we were just trying to figure out who was going to move where.  The flying back and forth was getting ridiculous.

It was decided that I would move to Florida.  He had a great job and there were lots of opportunities for me here.  We picked February, and on February 3, 2006 he flew to OKC and helped me load all my stuff up in a Uhaul.  Lucky for him, I got super sick the morning we left, so he got to drive the whole way down.

And yet, he still married me.  Two years to the day from when we met, I dragged him kicking and screaming to the courthouse and got my ownership papers.  Since then he's put up with a lot of crap from me (and he will continue to do so).  For some reason he sticks around.

In fact, he's reading this right now and smiling.

I have done online dating in the past, and it was always disastrous. One time this guy came over to my house to hang out and watch a movie, and his ex-girlfriend showed up with a baseball bat, threatening to beat the crap out of me. She'd followed him over there. He got her calmed down and took her home and I never heard from him again.

That wasn't even the worst one. The worst one? Well, he's now a registered sex-offender. Not because of anything he did to/with me, but something else entirely.

My husband and I met online, but not through a dating site.


   

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